The Story of Zacchaeus and Unconditional Positive Regard

Luke 19:1-10

 

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way. 

 

When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. 

 

All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.” 

 

But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” 

 

Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” 

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 

 It's interesting to revisit old Bible stories I learned as a kid, now that I have several years of practicing psychotherapy experience under my belt.  I can't help but see these stories differently as I apply perspectives about trauma, sociology and mental health that were for so long not explicit in our social understanding.  After all, psychology is a relatively new discipline, credited in western culture to Sigmund Freud at the end of the 19th century.  But before the founding of psychotherapy as a scientific discipline mental health treatment was the domain of spiritual and religious practice.  As such, stories like the one above may have just as much to say about mental wellness as they do about spiritual wellness (in fact, one could say the two are synonymous).

In listening to this Bible story only a few days ago I found my mind instantly conceptualizing Zacchaeus as though he was a client, as details from the story leapt out at me.  When I heard that Zacchaeus was "small in stature" I wondered to myself if it was like for him as a kid?  In modern days it is way more common to experience bullying, especially for boys, if they are smaller in size compared to their peers.  This is evidence in the animal kingdom too: size often equals power.  If Zacchaeus was small as a kid, does that mean that he was bullied?  Does that mean he struggled from an early age to find any sense of acceptance and belonging among his peers?  

 

When I consider implications about physical stature, I also have to start wondering about the balance of nature and nurture.  Height and size is certainly influenced by genetics, but it is also influenced by nutrition.  In modern days one reason why we grow so tall compared to our ancestors has to do with the quality and amount of food we eat.  It's hard to determine whether Zaccheaus was underfed compared to his peers, but what if he grew up in a disadvantaged position?  What if his family was poorer?  What if food was in more scarce demand?  What if Zaccheaus' height implies that he was someone who found himself at an early age coming up short (pun not intended) where broader societal systems of power were concerned?

If all these assumptions or even half of them are true, then it is no surprise that Zacchaeus sought out employment as a tax collector.  In fact, I can't help but admire the resourcefulness of his internal system at this point.  Zacchaeus found a way to rise above the disadvantages implied by his height: he became a tax collector with the might of the Roman army behind him.  If there was scarcity of food before, now there was abundance.  If there was oppression before, now he was the one who could hold the balance of power against others.  The position might have been reviled by his countrymen but it would have offered safety and status that Zacchaeus perhaps previously felt like he didn't have access to.

 

After contemplating Zacchaeus' height and the possible implications that may have had, it becomes apparent why being reviled and considered as a sinner by his countrymen might have not been a such a dealbreaker for him in taking on the tax-collector role.  What if with a history of already being bullied Zacchaeus felt like had nothing to lose by being hated by other people?  What if the way he treated his fellow countrymen only felt fair for the way they had treated him?  In today's culture where we are told to give as good as we get and everyone needs the last word, isn't this behaviour incredibly human and understandable?  And yet there seemed to be something missing. Despite all the power he could now assume, Zacchaeus seemed to be struggling to get the one thing that could be considered one of the most basic human needs: belonging.

In Maslow's hierarchy of needs belonging is the third most basic need of a human being, right after physical sustenance and safety.   Brené Brown talks about the differences between belonging and fitting-in her book Braving the Wilderness.  When we just "fit in" we have to compromise who we are to become what we think we should be.  It is a process inherent with shame - that something about ourselves is not acceptable by others.  Taken to an extreme the need to fit in can cause an exiling of these parts and result in anxiety, depression, self-worth and identity issues, and a profound sense of loneliness.  When we belong, by contrast, every part of ourselves is accepted and given worth as we are given the freedom to express who we are without judgment or shame, when we are met with the same enthusiasm and curiosity that we offer to others.

 

What if this sense of belonging was something that Zacchaeus had never experienced?

 

Consider then how revolutionary it might have felt to Zacchaeus' world to have Jesus invite himself over to dinner, to essentially say to Zacchaeus "I accept you. With me you can belong."  All the criticism in the world may have only served to further cement Zacchaeus in his tax collector role, where he could protect himself with safety and power, and yet this act of love and acceptance seemed to melt down all the barriers and bring about the most revolutionary shift in his life.  

A mentor once described mental-emotional healing to me as "being able to speak our truth in a place where we can be accepted without judgment."  In psychotherapy circles this is also known as unconditional positive regard, identified by Carl Rogers as being one of the most essential elements of psychotherapy.  It is the unconditional positive regard offered by the therapist to the client that allows the release of shame, that offers an opportunity to belong.  In spiritual circles unconditional positive regard might be given a different term: love.  1 Corinthians 13:4–8a describes love as the following:

 

 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

 

In today's society, where spin is everything at the expense of the truth, where resentments fester in an urge to be right, where right vs. left, red vs. blue, dismissive divisive political thinking insists that we must fight to the bitter end in order to get our own way, it seems we could have a lot to learn from the story of Zacchaeus.  If we want people in our lives to change that is unlikely to come with judgmental criticism, with the need to prove that we are right more than they are.  In fact, criticism and judgment may only serve to further cement others deeper into their patterns. Paradoxically, change may only come once we stop insisting that the the other side changes, and extend an offer of acceptance and belonging instead.

 

There is a story I heard of not very long ago about a man named Daryl Davis.  Daryl Davis was a blues musician and a black man.  Over the course of his life he made a habit of befriending members of the Ku Klux Klan.  It might seem crazy to those of us who consider racism "evil" that a black man would aim to befriend members of a white nationalist group known for embracing racism.  And yet Daryl Davis' willingness to show these people unconditional positive regard caused a shift for hundreds of members of this group.  By the time Daryl Davis died over 200 members of the Klan had given up their robes. It wasn't criticism that caused change.  It was love.

 

Notably in the Bible story, Jesus did not ask Zacchaeus to change.  He simply asked to eat dinner at Zacchaeus' house.  But when Zacchaeus was met with the gift of unconditional acceptance something shifted inside of him.   It was not required of him, and yet in that moment he freely chose to change.  He didn't give up the role of tax collector but rather resolved to pay back anyone he had defrauded.  Implicit to this decision is the willingness to let go of past resentment and the intention to act with integrity and compassion in the future.  It seems Zacchaeus chose in that moment to live into forgiveness. This is why "salvation came to his house": because in that moment he let go of a burden that he had been carrying.  Zacchaeus experienced mental, emotional and spiritual healing.

So this is what I heard as I listened to the story of Zaccheaus.  It isn't criticism or judgment that causes change.  Rather change and healing come with unconditional positive regard, with acceptance and belonging.  With love.